Why Skirts? Our Modesty Transformation – Part 4

Part 1 of this series can be found here.

Part 2 of this series can be found here.

Part 3 of this series can be found here.

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At this point, my daughters and myself wear skirts and dresses 90% of the time.  Honestly, it is freeing!  I used to become so aggravated pulling up low cut jeans that tend to wiggle their way downward.    If I wear skirts that hit below my knee I can get up and down from the floor without any problem whatsoever.  As a momma to preschool children this is a must for me.  I always wear leggings underneath my skirts.  I wear tight workout shorts underneath my skirts in the summer.  This prevents chaffing, and is so comfortable.  I’m very cold natured to begin with, and I feel like I am wearing soft, stretchy pants covered in a blanket on cold days.  I love it!

Why do we wear skirts, you might ask?  Aren’t pants just as modest?  What does the Bible say about this?

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…

1 Timothy 2:9

This verse says that women should be modest.  It doesn’t address whether women should wear pants or dresses at all.  From this verse, I would say that as long as our apparel isn’t too tight, flashy, and covers our body efficiently, we are good.

A woman shall not wear man’s clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman’s clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God.

Deuteronomy 22:5 (NASV)

This scripture clearly states that women and men shouldn’t cross dress.  But, didn’t both men and women wear robes which looked like dresses in Bible times?  I’ve heard it discussed that men wore a type of pants underneath their robe, and women did not.  Women’s robes were also longer.   This verse doesn’t convince me that skirts are mandated for women however, since men and women’s apparel was quite similar during that time frame.

caabskirt

What this verse does tell me, is that God likes a distinction between clothing for men and women.  In our day and age, skirts and dresses are distinctly feminine.  I love my Lord, and want to be pleasing to Him. If skirts and dresses “might” please Him more, that’s what I will strive to wear.

One of the other main reasons that I usually wear skirts is feminism.  When I grew up, feminist thought was very prevalent. Once I became a mother, I became disgusted that so much of my life was wasted trying to achieve goals that really didn’t matter.  One of the things that feminists fought for was the ability to wear pants.    By wearing skirts, I feel like I am publically professing that I am more than happy in my traditional gender role.  I could care less if I have the same “rights” as men, am paid the same amount of money as men, etc.  I wouldn’t want to be “equal” to men in the least.  God created men and women distinctly different for a reason. Although my calling might not look like my husbands, it is still incredibly important.

*Disclaimer: I realize that spiritually in Christ we are all one.  “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”  (Galatians 3:28)  However, while physically on this earth, men and women do have separate Biblical roles to fulfill.

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A few other reasons I wear skirts include:

Eye Tracking Survery Concludes that Men’s Eyes are Drawn to the Crotch

Several years back an eye tracking study concluded that men’s eyes are naturally drawn to the crotch.  I can easily solve this predicament by wearing a modest skirt or dress.  In an article about this phenomenon, it is quoted,  “Still, she says the strike-zone glance isn’t necessarily a sign of sexual attraction. Instead, men might be pre-programmed to check out their competition or determine whether someone (or something) is suitable for mating.”  I would rather my girls and myself not be checked out to determine if we are suitable for mating!

Less Rude Comments About Our Family Size

I’m sure that fellow large families understand my thoughts on this one.  Before wearing skirts almost exclusively, I used to get a lot of unwanted comments concerning our family size.  Comments such as:

  “Don’t you know what causes that?”

“I can barely handle my two, I feel sorry for you.”

“Don’t you own a television?”

“You sure have your hands full.”

Since wearing skirts, these comments have decreased tremendously.  Most likely, when people see that we dress a bit differently than most of society, than they assume that our faith (and convictions about family size) are different as well.

They are More Forgiving During Pregnancy and Post-Pregnancy

If I purchase flowing skirts, they are looser around my figure than pants are.  They easily accommodate my changing body.  After pregnancy and childbirth, my weight usually fluctuates up to 20 pounds and skirts remain flattering.  Pants that used to be perfectly loose and modest, can quickly become not so modest if I gain 5-10 pounds.

Men are More Polite

Men treat me differently.  They are more polite in public, hold the door open for me more often, etc.

Some ladies are afraid that they will look frumpy if they wear modest skirts and dresses.  Modest clothing can be very fashionable and trendy however.  I’m loving this new style now available at Deborah & Co.  How cute is this?

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Do we ever wear pants? 

We wear shorts and pants if we are outside sometimes.  Shorts/Pants are a must while riding bicycles for safety reasons.  I wear pants with tall boots if walking through our woods since we have tons of ticks that I most definitely am not fond of!  We wear long shorts or pants to amusement parks.

Our family is still figuring out the best way to be modest, and to be pleasing to God with our clothing.  We strive to be pleasing to God in all things.  We feel like this also protects our daughters from unwanted male attention.

To view our family’s current view of Modesty, click here.  I will be sharing about other modesty guidelines our family adheres to next week.

I hope that you have found encouragement from our journey!  Pants definitely can be modest too, if worn loosely and with discretion.  A good way to make pants more modest is to pair them with a long shirt!

What does modesty look like for your family?

Be blessed!

~Nicole

Our Family’s Modesty Transformation Series

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Why Skirts? Part 4

 

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Written by Nicole

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79 Thoughts on “Why Skirts? Our Modesty Transformation – Part 4

  1. I love the striped maxi dress. I tend to wear maxi skirts and dresses and I don’t think they look frumpy at all. Thanks for your great post. Yes, skirts and dresses are much more forgiving than pants!

  2. Nicole on June 23, 2013 at 4:44 pm said:

    I love the maxi dress too. It is so adorable!

  3. I’ve always loved skirts and dresses! Especially as a little girl, they have always been my favorite. When I quit my job to stay home after our first child was born, I started wearing more skirts and dresses all the time. They’re just more comfortable for me and I enjoy looking more ladylike. Our second child was a girl so modesty has become even more important to me, I want to make sure I set a good example for her. She already wears mostly all skirts and dresses at 1 1/2 years. I’d like for us both to be in the habit of wearing them the majority of the time. I still wear pants or shorts occasionally.

  4. Love the comment about family size. Who knew a skirt would help decrease comments? That is great. Found you on The Better Mom link up. :)

  5. You mentioned wearing leggings and shorts under your dresses all the time. I’m a mamma to a three year old, so I’m definitely get up and down out of the floor a lot. Obviously that presents a problem while wearing dresses/skirts. Even though all my skirts/dresses come below my knee, it’s still something I worry about.

    Back in my working/Pre-pregnancy days I started wearing skirts all the time (for the same reasons). A lot of times in the winter I would try to wear capries under my skirts for warmth. Well the static cling was horrible at times! (With the exception of one denim skirt) The static made the skirts cling to my figure, and having been raped before it made me so uncomfortable I practically wanted to crawl out of my skin.

    I don’t own either shorts or leggings, so my question is do you have the static problem? If so how do you combat it? Do you wear slips over it? Or are your leggings made out of a certain material? (Personally I’m a cotton fan, so if material doesn’t matter I’ll go with cotton). Seriously, having had the static problem I really want to know, because I need something under my skirts!

    • Nicole on June 24, 2013 at 10:24 am said:

      Hello Leah! I totally understand why you would not want your skirts to cling! I’ve honestly never had that problem. In the winter I wear few packs of cotton leggings I purchased in the ladies section at Walmart. In the summer I wear either cotton exercise shorts that I purchased at Academy Sports, or spandex type shorts that I purchased at Ross. The leggings/shorts that I buy are always stretchy and skin tight. I do not wear slips, but I usually wear denim for durability during the week. Since denim isn’t shear, I do not need a slip. I hope this information helps!

    • Angela on June 25, 2013 at 2:32 pm said:

      Try putting a safety pin in the hem. I don’t know if it works on all materials, but I know it gets rid of static cling in some materials.

    • Just wanted to add a comment to the static cling complaint. While my denim and corduroy skirts don’t really cling, I’ve found that other fabrics do in the winter. To cut down on static adding half a cup of vinegar in the rinse and air drying rather than machine drying my clothes seems to help considerably. I also air dry my slips to reduce the winter static electricity and I wear a slip under all of my skirts.

    • Lulu Barretta on October 1, 2013 at 1:38 pm said:

      Might I recommend this for you: http://www.modestapparelusa.com/modest-clothing-for-women/modest-skirts-for-women/tiered-twill-prairie-skirt.html

      It’s thick cotton that’s heavy like denim, but not (I hate denim). It’s long and roomy so should work well with your 3 year old. No static cling. I love the skirts on this website, and I like this one in particular so much I just bought 3 more. It doesn’t wrinkle or attract too much dust, so I love it because it’s very practical.

  6. I love love LOVED this! I literally laughed out loud at, “I guess people figure that we must ascribe to a strange religion, and therefore no longer try to wrap their minds around why we have six children.”

    I have recently started wearing more skirts and dresses, and I love the femininity and ease of it, but I hate the chafing…why I never thought to wear exercise shorts underneath my skirt is beyond me! Thank you so much for the tip!

    Thanks again for your wonderful post! :)

    • Nicole on June 24, 2013 at 10:27 am said:

      I’m glad you found the tip helpful Kelsey! I heard about this somewhere after I had worn skirts exclusively for a few months, and it made them SO much more comfortable to me. I’ve worn skirts almost full time for over 2 years now and still love it. I believe that wearing leggings and exercise shorts underneath has greatly contributed to my success with skirt wearing!

  7. Sarah on June 24, 2013 at 10:48 am said:

    I am so encouraged by this series, Nicole! Thank you for taking time to write your thoughts and share your journey. As I shared previously, my struggle is that my sweet hubby doesn’t understand why I’d want to wear skirts/dresses when we’re just going to the store or some other casual place/event, like out to dinner with friends. It makes “sense” to wear them to church or a dressy event, but he feels I’d be too dressed up for other events – even if the dress/skirt is casual or paired with a tshirt. Also, our only child is 5 mos old and he feels I’d be uncomfortable. This isn’t a point of contention or arguments…I just change my outfit when he expresses his desire for me to dress more casually. He is a strong Christian leader of our home and I respect his wishes.

    Any thoughts or encouragement in this would be appreciated and helpful. I love wearing skirts and want to find a good balance between taking care to not lead my brothers to stumble, dressing femininely, and submitting to my husband.

    God bless,
    Sarah from VA

    • Nicole on June 24, 2013 at 11:35 am said:

      Hey Sarah! When I began wearing skirts almost exclusively my husband didn’t understand either. He didn’t ask me to not wear skirts, but he didn’t encourage it either. If I asked his opinion, it was always, “Whatever you like best.” That being said, a few months ago he came to me and let me know that his opinion had changed, and that he was thankful that I dress myself and our girls the way I do. He said he was more concerned with what everyone else was wearing instead of really seeking what God’s best might be for our family. My advise would be to pray! I think that it is wonderful that you want to follow your husband’s wishes. That is how it should be. However, if you are very strongly convicted and you feel like the Lord is telling you to wear skirts and you are not, then the Lord’s wishes override your husbands. Romans 14:23 (NLT) says, “But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.” The beginning of the verse is referring to food specifically, but the end says “If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.” I in no way think that wearing pants is sinful, but personally if I was in a situation where I could easily wear a skirt but chose to wear pants I would feel conviction. I would have not felt this way by any means 2 years ago when I began wearing skirts, and therefore would not have been sinning at that point! Again, I would pray, pray, pray, and possibly share the Bible verses with your husband that your conviction stems from. In the meantime, if you are wearing pants add feminine touches with your top/jewelry/shoes. While pregnant with my last baby I had a pair of capris that were just so comfortable. If I wore them out of the house, I paired them with blouses that covered my rear. I hope this information helps, I will be praying for you Sarah!

      • This is a great blog post. My daughters and I started wearing skirts/dresses exclusively 3 or so years ago. My husband didn’t request this change and did ask that I not spend a lot of money to make the wardrobe change. Through money for birthdays, thrift shops, and being able to sew…we made the change with very little ripple on the budget. Also, shopping the 1/2 off clearance price racks at dept. stores ~ we do this every Oct./Nov. and can buy expensive skirts dresses for $5 or so dollars, we plan for this sale all year! Denim is the most durable and practical for the weekdays, there is not much difference in a denim skirt and denim jeans ~ same fabric made differently. And we have worn skirts to amusement parks … Disney World in Fla. My 17 year old daughter always wears shorts under her skirts or dresses. I did buy a pair of stretchy “biker” shorts to wear under my skirts when traveling by plane (got worried about the tsa searches ~ didn’t happen!). So while my husband didn’t come up with the idea, or exactly encourage it ~ he did approve and now enjoys it. He comments to our daughters and I that he doesn’t have to worry about our modesty out in public (like at Disney) and he wishes more people would dress appropriately. We all have to live according to our convictions, and our husbands approval. I was led to this decision by reading the Bible scriptures pertaining to the differences in men and women & clothing.

  8. Great article, thank you for sharing! Question: Any suggestions on where I can purchase skirts at a reasonable price? Deborah & Co. has gorgeous skirts, but they are quite pricey. We are a one income family, and unfortunately we cannot afford skirts around those prices, so while I am encouraged by the idea of skirts, I am also discouraged because of our current budget :( I know that thrift shops are great and are an option, but if you have any other suggestions as well it would be greatly appreciated :)

    • Nicole on June 24, 2013 at 11:46 am said:

      Unfortunately outside of thrift stores I haven’t found too many options. I do love to shop at Cato for skirts. They are priced from $16-23 normally, and I have been able to purchase them on clearance for $11-15. I do shop at Goodwill quite often. I used to think thrift stores were not desireable, but I’ve found that if I look in nicer areas I can find very good things. My three favorite skirts at the moment have all come from Goodwill. They are Gap and Cato brand in perfect condition. I also picked up a Kohl’s skirt with the tags still attached last week from Goodwill. Ross is also a good place to purchase skirts for $15 and under!

      • Okay thank you for all the great suggestions Nicole, I will definitely check them out! :)

      • Do you have a Belk Department Store near you? Every fall we get great skirts and dresses for around $5 by shopping their 1/2 off the clearance tag sales. These are usually around Oct./Nov. My daughter loves to go there the week of Thanksgiving and get new goodies! Most are high end labels. I know they do it other times too. Living in Miss. the stuff we buy in the fall is the summer stuff…but we have more warm months than other parts of the country.

    • Lulu Barretta on October 1, 2013 at 1:26 pm said:

      modestapparelUSA.com has great skirts at affordable prices. And they’re made in the USA!

  9. I would like some thoughts or advice, my husband recently has requested that I wear skirts/dresses most of the time. I am mostly ok with this except we live on a farm and I find it extremely hard (and disgusting) to wear skirts while doing chores. Getting manure flung up your skirt is not a nice feeling…also I find that my skirt gets way dirtier than pants as the edges rub up against things and then I’m tracking poop in the house etc etc…My husband says he’s fine with me wearing pants around the house, but I guess I’m trying to figure out how to also be modest around my little boy (and future sons) yet dress practically on our farm. I find it very difficult to be/feel feminine with our lifestyle, I don’t know, maybe it’s enough to just wear skirts in public…I think I’m just discouraged over the whole thing

    • Nicole on June 24, 2013 at 11:41 am said:

      Hello Lisa! In my opinion, I really don’t see a problem wearing pants while doing farm chores! :-) Honestly, there are some days at our house that I do not get out of my pajama pants. If there are any ladies with farm experience, I would love if you could offer advice. Please don’t get discouraged. The Lord knows your heart, and if you are seeking Him with this topic it is wonderful!

      • Would a knee length skirt with leggings underneath be easier? Your skirt wouldn’t be dragging on the ground and you could always take your leggings off when you were done with chores. Just an idea.

    • Sheree on July 10, 2013 at 4:27 pm said:

      Do your chores in britches and then come in and change into your skirts. If you are concerned then you can wear long shirts or even a wrap around apron while doing chores. My boys are often surprised when I put on shorts or capris but they say it makes sense if I am down on my knees in the garden. They understand modesty and they also understand that in the privacy of your own home, where the only person who should have sexual thoughts about you is your spouse, you should be able to wear whatever you choose as long as its decent. My daughter wears pajama pants and shorts around the house but when we leave we change into modest clothing because the public does not need to see us in our private clothing, if that makes sense?

    • I’ve lived on a farm all my life and find wearing a skirt is an easy and positive experience! Maybe try a calf length denim skirt so it doesn’t drag in the slop. You want something sturdy and not to poofy. an a-line or tiered skirt made from stretch denim will give you lots of wear and allow you to move freely. My sister and I play sports, ride horses, bikes, and four wheelers in skirts, but in that case, exercise pants underneath would be a good idea:) As far as the manure goes, you’re going to get that no matter what you wear. As someone who does everything in a skirt, I would say just keep at it. You’ll eventually find what works for you and get used to it.

  10. Great post, Nicole! I have often told my girls that I wear skirts for 3 reasons: modesty, honor, and femininity. You covered those very well. I’m going to check out your other posts, and share those with my girls as well!

    Thanks!

    Lisa
    http://www.thecourageousjourney.com

  11. Thank you so much for the encouragement!

    I’ve recently started purchasing more dresses in skirts in an effort to feel more feminine and comfortable in my body.

    I’ve gained weight since having my son and have always had to struggle with my weight and figure.

    Skirts and dresses help me feel so much more comfortable. I always thought I was pretty modest and feminine but am starting to be drawn more to skirts/dresses versus jeans/pants. More comfortable, more feminine, more modest- win win win!

  12. I really appreciate not only your view on the whole pants issue, but also the non-judgmental way you presented it. I find that most times modesty can be a touchy subject with people are both extremes being rather dogmatic and less than gracious in their position.

  13. Stopping by from Titus 2sday and this is my first time visiting your blog…

    First of all, I want to say KUDOS to you for presenting this topic in a non-judgmental and logical way. I have heard all of the verses you mentioned and like you, they did not mean “skirts-only” to me. However, for the first time {I think, EVER}, your reasons for wearing skirts/dresses most of the time, actually make sense to me.

    Personally, I wear jeans most of the time right now and I’m okay with it because they’re not low-cut or tight and I usually wear a long top over them. I have a problem with modesty no matter what bottoms I’m in, though, because I’m a pear-shaped woman and my bottom half is *aheam* hard to hide. Even a lose skirt won’t hide my backside. LOL So, I do the best I can.

    P.S. I, too, laughed at the fact that wearing skirts invited less comments from the “peanut gallery” concerning your family size. So weird, right? Ha!

  14. I love your comment about skirts. Many times I get asked why I wear skirt and some people don’t understand or don’t want to understand my definition of modesty. Women’s body are curvy and pants reveal more than I feel comfortable with. I am so gland that I am not the only one who feels this way. Thank you for setting that example to your daughter.

  15. I love wearing skirts and pants both, but I really appreciated this honest post on why your family wears skirts. I have many friends who wear skirts and dresses only and I respect their convictions. Thank you for sharing.

  16. Stopping by WLW link up!
    Loved the name of your blog! and great article on modesty as well!
    have a blessed week! :)

  17. I LOVE wearing skirts and dresses! They are so comfortable and I just feel pretty when I do.
    I need to get me some workout shorts to go under mine for the summer. Great idea!
    Visiting from Welcome Home Wednesday.

  18. Unfortunately, wearing a skirt has never stopped anyone from making strange and/or rude comments about our family size. But, that’s OK. Sometimes I smile and laugh. And sometimes I get irritated. And one time I yelled at someone at the grocery store. (Not real proud of that, though.)

    Still like my skirts, though. :-)

  19. I know you were possibly making a joke, but I’m wondering why you’d consider it a positive for people to think you’re part of a strange religion? I suppose I am a little sensitive to this since I grew up dresses only (still love them, wearing maxi today) but one of the major reasons I started wearing pants and shorts as well is because of feeling like I was part of a sideshow.

    Dresses only drew LOTS of attention, and not to Jesus! Just to the weirdness! In my mind this is a huge negative. I believe that part of modesty is not drawing undue attention.

    I have to say that when I changed to a still decent but more normal mode of dress, I got a lot fewer unwelcome stares, and when I do strike up a conversation or relationship with someone it’s much easier to talk about Christ than to have a discussion about clothing choices. I think it was Jen Hatmaker who pointed out that once you travel to poverty-stricken countries and see Christians wearing rags because that’s all they have, the whole modesty bruhaha seems pretty banal.

    Hope this doesn’t come across as combative, just a different viewpoint from someone who made the opposite switch. :)

    • Nicole on June 26, 2013 at 3:20 pm said:

      Hello Stephanie! I consider it a positive thing that we do not hear many rude comments concerning our family size, not that people might think we belong to a strange religion. Those comments can be hurtful to my children who are within earshot. My main purpose in switching to skirts is because I feel that they are more pleasing to my Lord. (That is my conviction, and I’m not saying that everyone else should feel exactly the same way I do!) I’m honestly not concerned if others think we are a “sideshow.” Hopefully people don’t feel that way when they see my family, but if they do, who cares. We are to strive to please God, not man. Also, Christians should look different from the rest of the world.

      I will not wear clothing that I feel is immodest in order to “draw attention to Jesus.” I truly believe that attention is brought to Him more so if I am dressed modestly and all attention is off of my body. He is mighty and able to use me while wearing a modest skirt or dress.

      Modesty is important to God. If it wasn’t, then the clothing Adam and Eve fashioned in the garden of Eden would have been fine in His opinion. But their clothing choice wasn’t sufficient, and He fashioned clothing that He deemed suitable. As for the comment concerning Christians in poverty stricken countries…if they are wearing the best that they have, I believe that is enough. However, in this country we have so much and so many clothing options. Shouldn’t we offer Him the best that we have? :-)

    • I think it’s actually a positive thing to be different from this perverse world we live in. I too, grew up “dresses only” and I’m “proud” of it. Being different is nothing to be ashamed of. The Bible says “come out from amoung them and be separate” I don’t think that means being as weird as possible. but it does mean that we should be willing to be different if that’s what it takes to please Christ. and as the world becomes increasingly wicked, Christians should stand out even more in stark contrast. Personally, I’d rather have people stare because I’m dressed in a modest, yet attractive and fashionable way than to stare because I’m exposing my skin/figure.

  20. Great post. Beautifully written and expressed. I am glad I came by to visit from the Tuesday linky. I’ll be back! Come by and see me.

  21. This was encouraging to read Nichole. I just stopped by from Raising Homemakers. Thank you!!

  22. I’ve worn exclusively skirts/dresses since I was in 7th grade. I can do anything in a skirt, because I always have. Trampoline, skiing, roller coasters, anything. I wear leggings everyday in the winter and some days in the summer. ( I am always cold, too)
    Something I noticed as a kid was that when someone who used to always wear skirts started wearing pants is that they always had a big butt. (Sorry for the word, but it’s true.) So, even if I did disregard my current standards, I believe that alone will deter me from pants. :)

    • Haha! Gabi, I don’t have a big butt, mine is barely there but I do have big thighs. Which is probably part of the reason I love skirts so much! I’ve always hated them but you can’t see them in skirts! ;)

  23. Carrie on June 27, 2013 at 1:36 pm said:

    Hey Nicole,
    My first few years of college have not been easy. I’ve noticed a lot of negative attention from guys and I would love to avoid that. I just recently turned 20 so I think now would be a good time to step out of teenage clothing and not only into adult clothing but also modest clothing. My worry is that people will not accept the change. Have you or your children struggled with friends since becoming more modest?
    Thanks,
    Carrie

    • Nicole on June 27, 2013 at 4:06 pm said:

      Hey Carrie,

      First of all, I want to say that it is wonderful thing to desire to dress with dignity. Over the past years I have lost a few friends, but I believe that is because my relationship with Christ has grown while their’s has not. My girls haven’t lost any friends, but sometimes friends ask questions or make fun of them for their clothing choices. For example, last year a classmate at dance told my 13 year old that she couldn’t be stylish if she didn’t wear skinny jeans. I honestly don’t understand why this happens, since my daughters wear basically the same thing as their friends, with only a few changes to look more modest. The world as a whole sends a message to women of all ages that we should look “sexy,” and we are buying into this message hook, line, and sinker. My advice to you is to dress more modestly, and not worry too much about what other people may say. When I was 20 I began to attempt to step out of teenage clothing, and I got some grief for it. The clothing wasn’t as modest as I wear now, but it was more “mature.” I did this for my daughter’s sake when she was a baby. I’m 32 now, and looking back, anything that was said to me at 20 doesn’t even cross my mind. At the time it could be hurtful, but this too shall pass. You deserve to be treated better than the guys have been treating you. You are worth so much more. I’m sure that if you decide to dress more modestly, your future husband will thank you. :-)

  24. Nicole, I so appreciate your heart on this issue. My story is a little different as I was raised in a VERY conservative Christian family and attended an even more conservative Christian school where we had to wear dresses all. the. time. That continued through college and into my career (I worked for a religious organization). It was the 80s and 90s so wearing dressed made me feel awkward and socially ostracized. (I still prefer pants or jeans today b/c of my body type!). I do like that skirts are coming back in fashion and do LOVE a comfy maxi skirt or shorter skirt with leggings.

    I loved that you are telling YOUR story and YOUR journey. My convictions are different than yours, but I believe our desire for modesty and our values are the same. I recently wrote on the same topic: http://www.thereisgrace.com/is-modesty-relative/

    Thank you for writing with such grace.
    Nancy

    • Nicole on June 29, 2013 at 6:57 am said:

      Thank you for sharing Nancy! I’ve tried my best to not let past experiences or popular fads influence my clothing choices. :-)

  25. Annette on July 1, 2013 at 7:29 pm said:

    I followed over from Better Mom Monday linkup. I am so glad I did. Great article. I hope to explore more later. I have been searching my heart lately, because I have actually grown quite careless in my dress since having children. I prob. reveal more, rather than less than I did in my youth. This is a touchy topic, and I think you address your journey so wonderfully. I had been considering giving my wardrobe a once-over (or twice-over). However, I was mostly thinking tops and dresses. I actually feel I need to pray about skirts, and the place they should have in my life. Thank you. While I don’t like to flatter myself that I can cause a man to stumble, I don’t want to be the one to cause a man to stumble.

  26. I love this – it is so balanced!! I have read a lot of posts on this subject, and hear a lot of teachings on it, but nothing as balanced as this. You have convinced me about this 97% (and believe me, that is an amazing feat because I LUV my pants!), I am seriously considering wearing skirts more often. Thank you for linking up with A Little R & R Wednesdays! I hope you’ll be back to link up again.

  27. Genevieve on July 6, 2013 at 5:01 pm said:

    Thank you for this series! I feel like I could have wrote it. Right now, I’m just changing the way I dress, and hoping it is a good influence for my family. For me, it’s for the same reasons: I feel like it is pleasing to God, I enjoy my differences from men when I dress feminine, and I really enjoy not worrying as much about male attention.

    I used to think I dressed to “accentuate my figure” (I’m quite curvy/hourglass-shaped) to please myself, but a couple years ago I started realizing I was actually dressing to please others. And I really felt yucky about it. I finally decided a few months ago that I needed to start dressing the way that made God and myself happy. And guess what? My husband has even begun complimenting me more (he always complimented me plenty, but now he does it even more lol).

    I just went clothes shopping for my toddler daughter and realized just how many of the clothes choices are SO inappropriate! Things I would dress myself in: halter top dresses, midriff tops, and tops with cutout sections on the tummy or back. For a 1-2 year old?! Atrocious. Anyway, thanks again for this series of posts. It shows me I’m not alone in feeling this way and doing something about it.

  28. Hannah J on August 5, 2013 at 1:00 am said:

    I wear dresses and skirts exclusively, but I don’t judge those that don’t. I know that some are farther along in their Christian walk than others, and I know many women that haven’t felt the conviction yet. Plus, we can’t be legalistic. Wearing pants won’t send a women to hell, so in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter as much as adultery/murder/theft… But, I do think that it grieves the Holy Spirit. So what I’m trying to get at is that I think it’s right for a Christian woman to only wear skirts and dresses, but I’m not God and can’t really judge you(others, not really you because you do wear them) for not wearing them, I can only state that it’s scripturally right to do so.

    I like that you aren’t like others that I’ve seen in the blogging world that think that women who don’t wear only skirts and dresses, have their head covered, wear jewelry, etc. are all going to hell. I don’t see Bible for it(or for head-coverings/no jewerly), and I don’t like their “Holyer that thou” attitude… I think it turns non-Christians away, you know?

  29. Susanne on August 13, 2013 at 7:05 am said:

    The way you and your daughters dress is lovely (I hope as my daughter grows up she will remain as modest).

    To me skirts are not only more modest and simply more beautiful but also a statement of our God given femininity. Notice I said for “me” I don’t think we have to wear them as long as whatever we do wear is modest and feminine but for me with very few exceptions that means a skirt or dress.

    I think they are also far more suitable for our role (and shape) as mothers.

  30. Loved the article and agree with you.

    But… the skirt by Deborah and Co? Am I the only one who sees the red and white stripes as arrows pointing to the crotch if you look at the front and the back they point to the butt?

    In addition to that the one’s I’ve seen on women are made of some clingy fabric that accentuates and defines everything so well that you can tell what type of underwear they are wearing.

    I’ve frankly looked away embarrassed when I’ve seen some women dressed in these.

  31. Man of God on August 30, 2013 at 2:03 pm said:

    Wouldn’t you feel more comfortable in a burqa? It would cover more of you and would be distinctly more feminine and then you would never need worry about being immodest, ever. It is really something you should consider. It’s disgraceful that you should be wearing pants under your skirts anyways, because pants are designated for men and you are most assuredly not a man and therefore not fit to wear the clothing of those designed in the image of god. It’s shameful.

    In addition to this, you should be silent, this blog is an affront to your god. Do you not read the bible? 1 Tim 2:11 — A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. You are making yourself a spectacle and that is immensely displeasing to your god. You are shameful.

  32. Stephanie Lawson on August 31, 2013 at 7:20 pm said:

    Interesting. I’m non religious but I also wear long skirts most of the time. I’m very artsy so they fit my personal style, and are easy to maneuver around in, in the studio as opposed to jeans.
    However, I think it’s very disturbing that you claim to be uncaring about women being equal to men in pay and social status. Those kinds of thoughts are bigoted and poisonous, and I pray you aren’t teaching your daughter she is less than a man, or your son that he should ever assert himself as being superior to a woman.

    • Nicole on August 31, 2013 at 7:28 pm said:

      Hi there, thank you for commenting. I believe with all my heart that married women’s place is in the home. I am trying to instill that in my sons and daughters. There is nothing more important than raising future generations for The Lord and caring for our husband’s needs. If woman returned home, equal pay would be a non-issue.

      Blessings to you!

  33. Thank you for this post. Those denim skirts are fun, and I look forward to finding some myself. You mentioned wearing leggings in the cooler months, but what shoes and socks do you choose? I get tired of tights and haven’t found a pair of boots that fit my feet yet. Thanks!

  34. mom of 3 on September 24, 2013 at 3:55 pm said:

    Wonderful article! You can not go wrong by trying to please the Lord more! I love finding blogs like yours.

  35. Thank you for the series! I loved seeing how God has worked to change your heart, it gives me renewed hope for a few friends. I’m very much a jeans, t-shirt, and tennis shoes (no make up or earrings, just a simple necklace and wedding ring). I even wear my hubby’s T-shirts if mine are in the wash! Most of my t-shirts were free and the no make up is because my hubby doesn’t like the taste of it when he kisses me. I hate the way dresses/skirts feel. I like the way the look on others, but I just hate having my legs free for fabric. I’ve tried shorts under and found they either looked funny or made me feel like I had a corset on or would bunch up. I’m certainly not feeling feminine at the moment. Jewelry I usually only buy from nightlight because it’s made by women getting out of trafficking, otherwise I’d rather give money to charities. I didn’t want to give up make up at first, but it’s actually very liberating! And saves money!

    I’m going to try skirts/dresses again after reading this post. The reasons for wearing skirts are really good, not just for Christian women. The eye thing, that’s reason enough. We have four kids which I feel is a small family and we get comments! A lot of time I then let them know we want to adopt a sibling set/pair. It actually opens doors for the good news sometimes. One note about the D 22:5 verse, it might not be so cut and dry but might refer to Piegan temple worship and be a cultural time period thing. We do need to be careful when looking at scripture. One time my mom opened the Bible to read what God had for her today, it was the verse about giving a certificate of divorce, I’m glad she didn’t think it meant God wanted her to get divorced!

    Blessing to you!

  36. Hi Nicole!

    So I’ve been asking around this quite comical question only to get puzzled remarks. I have really big feet. And I mean BIG. So big I wear a women’s 11/12 in shoes AND have to order from a website made for women with big feet. But often, the shoes are quite expensive, and I’m in dire need of a pair of boots since we live in New England and it snows. A lot. There is absolutely nothing below $150 and that is honestly just way too expensive for me. So I was wondering if it would be wrong to get a pair of men’s snow boots, because of phrase:

    A woman shall not wear man’s clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman’s clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God.

    So what should I do? I’m seriously torn about this!

    Lilla

  37. I appreciate the article and agree with your points and think I will be making some changes. I have one comment about your baby pictures that are up-I just don’t understand the naked baby pictures shared as announcements in this way. I understand how you might have some for the childs memory book. But to share naked pictures of your kids? Especially while featuring a series on modesty seems quite hypocritical. I mean this in a constructive way.

    • Thanks for sharing. To me, cute baby photos of young infants and modest dress for older girls and women are two vastly different things. Personally we don’t worry about modesty until our children are well into toddlerhood. :-)

  38. Lulu Barretta on October 1, 2013 at 1:48 pm said:

    What do your kids wear for bathing suits?

  39. Hi, I’ve been wearing skirts and dresses for over 5 years now. I did this after praying and reading the bible. I do everything in my dresses and skirts. Will I can not do as much as most as I am sick but still. I do my therapy in my skirts. I think there has become a mind set that a lady can not do anything in a skirt. But from doing research I have found that ladies are riding horses with side saddles and skirts and in Romania they have lady skirt rides. I have found from these ladies how to safely ride bikes in a skirt with skirt guards etc. These can be found on ETSY. I felt convicted to wear skirts all the time and I’ve studied costume in University so I don’t go along with what feminist are saying to convince ladies not to wear skirts. I wear my skirts mid calf and this allows me to move easily without being immodest. I think bloomers or shorts or pantaloons are good under skirts.

  40. Amanda on December 9, 2013 at 5:50 pm said:

    I just have to say I enjoy reading your blog and especially this series of posts on modest dress. I am not a religious person, but I do try to understand the beliefs of those who are… in their own words. I have a great deal of respect for your adherence to your beliefs, thank you for sharing your journey.

  41. I enjoyed this article very much…….particularly certain phrases such as (We feel like this also protects our daughters from unwanted male attention)….once I told a friend that i will not feel comfortable if my daughter went out with a sleeveless dress showing her chubbiness and beauty…..can you imagine what was her comment!!!!!!!!!! she said:(what’s wrong about seeing a man staring at her beauty! that prove you have a beautiful attractive girl)…….To be honest Nicole …i froze…and could not answer….what do you think the appropriate answer should be?!

  42. Hi there! I am reading your blog, I find it very interesting because I am the opposite. I grew up pentecostal and was forced to wear skirts all the time, until I was older of course. Then I married and had a family and a little girl and had her wear skirts. Anyways a really long story short we found out some horrible things about the church we were in, we left the UPCI and we had to deal with our convictions of modesty on our own.
    I have been thinking for a bit about getting back to wearing skirts, for the same reasons you have mentioned, the jeans that I have started wearing Im consistantly pulling up, my daughter is 6 and I am always having to buy her new jeans because her body is starting to develop and I want them not to be tight. So I am going to read more on your blog and I am going to pray and see where the Lord takes me on this subject.
    I do have one question. I dont see how wearing skirts makes people not question your number of kids. that makes no sense to me.
    Also, another thing, the bible does talk we should dress differently but does not state we have to wear skirts, nor not cut our hair, ext. ext these are manmade laws in some churches, things that preachers teach will make women more ‘holy’ but holiness comes from the heart, not from what you wear, modesty as well comes from the heart, not from what you wear. you can dress head to toe in the longest skirt, with the longest hair and have the most unholy and ugly heart there is. Just a side thought :) walk strong in the Lord and I will be reading more on your blog after service today ! feel free to check out my blog as well!

    • Nicole on May 11, 2014 at 8:56 pm said:

      Hi Tara! I don’t understand why people don’t question my family size so much anymore either. When we dressed totally like everyone else, I believe that people assumed that we were “just like them” and they couldn’t wrap their minds around why we have so many children. When we dress slightly differently, they think, “they aren’t just like us” and then don’t question our family size as much. This is just my hypothesis, ha! :-) As far as “dressing differently,” wearing skirts for me is mainly a cultural thing. As a plus, we do dress “differently,” but in no way does the Bible say that we must wear dresses, not cut our hair, etc. Any changes must come from the heart. Blessings to you!

      • Well I just had time to read your FULL series, your story and everything from high school, and the dance competitions with your daughter, and I have to say that we are a lot a like in that way. My husband and I want to allow our daughter to be in competitive dance, BUT they insist that they wear heavy heavy makeup, bright red lipstick and these awful outfits that are in no way modest, not one bit of them :( I just cant let my 6 year old go on stage looking like that. So she might be mad at me, but in time maybe she will understand.
        Okay so Im really liking your blog! I have no idea now how I came across it, I think from a linkup on one I was reading at women living well, but anyways Im glad I did! Im going to read more for sure, and even though we have left the pentecostal church where we were ‘required’ to do these things it has been on my heart to do them now for the past few weeks, and as if a ‘SIGN’ from God almost yesterday I found a bag where I had put all my old skirts I was going to donate (they were too small and I thought Id never wear them again but now Ive lost over 40lbs lol) in my jeep! Also as I mentioned I want my daughter to learn to dress modestly, and she wrote in her mothers day book to me…a class project they did and it was shaped like a purse, first page said ‘MY mom, A true story” and it went through and she filled in the lines with things like ‘my mom is tall as a (she put bear lol)” my mom has blonde hair…i love it when my mom …. but she put on ‘my mom looks best when….she wrote “she wears a dress” and that really touched my heart.
        I will continue to pray about this, I really have been out of my walk with the Lord for some time now and trying to get back. I let social media and everything else consume me instead of trusting and walking with the Lord. If you’d like to read that story, I did post it, its pretty personal but it might give you an idea of who I am more, because I plan to be active and engage in your blog for sure :)
        Ps. your family is so cute! you are blessed! P.s.s. Do you participate in Good Morning Girls bible study groups? I am looking for people for a group for upcoming session!

        Anyways my email is hello@taraeveland.com and here is my blog: http://womenseekingthelord.blogspot.com/

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