The Birth Control Pill Caused My Miscarriage

Honestly, I never wanted to write this post.  This is my miscarriage story.  A story that I would like to hide in the depths of my soul and never speak of again.  The gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit have awakened a desire however.  A desire to share my story, so that possibly women will hear and learn from my anguishing mistake.

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It was late May 2005.  My husband and I had been married for two glorious months.  I was on the birth control pill at the beginning of our marriage, since having a baby wouldn’t be the wisest decision so soon after marriage.  I had been a widow for almost two years, and we were raising three small children from my previous marriage.  We decided to throw caution to the wind however, and I stopped taking the pill.

I basically became pregnant immediately.  We were overjoyed!  Everything seemed to be going well.  I made an appointment to see my obstetrician at the five week mark and set about my days with an inner glow knowing that a small life was growing inside of me.

Just a few days later, I began to feel different.  Moody.  I began to cry at the slightest thing.  This wasn’t consistent with my other pregnancies at all.  Although I grew slightly concerned, I brushed it off.

The morning of my obstetric appointment I ran a package to the post office in town.  Once I was out and about, I knew something was wrong.  I called my doctor, and they asked me to come in right away.  An ultrasound confirmed my fears that my baby was… gone.  At the same time a blood test confirmed that I had been pregnant.

I just sat in tears in that doctors office.  Falling apart.  The ultrasound technician was very kind, but my obstetrician thought that I had lost my mind.  You weren’t very far along, she said.  You will be fine and have other babies.  This happens quite often if couples do not wait several months after coming off of the pill before trying to conceive.

What was that?  The pill caused this?  Oh, yes, she said.  The birth control pill causes the uterus to become very inhospitable to a newly conceived baby.

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At that moment, I knew that although accidental, a choice I had made murdered my baby.  I alone was guilty.  Miscarriages are called spontaneous abortions.  That is what my actions did to my child.

I know good and well that miscarriages are actually quite common.  I truly believe that God has a purpose for all miscarriages that begin by no fault of the mother.  This scenario was different however.  My selfishness had caused this.

Selfishness is sinNot believing God’s Word concerning children is sin.  My sin made a mess and the consequences were great.  That’s what sin does.  It lies, it steals, it destroys.  It will not rest until it pushes a deep, dark wedge between ourselves and God.

Jeremiah 1:5 says, Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…  This tells us that God knows us before He places us in our mother’s womb.  Psalm 139:13 says, For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  This tells us that God is the master Creator of new babies.  And I snuffed out His creating hand like I knew best.

We all know God is sovereign.  I could say, God could have stopped this from happening.  He can do all things!  Therefore, it’s not my fault.  My choice made while in sin caused this however.  I chose to upset the reproductive system which He created perfectly to compliment His plan for my life.

I was told to come back in a week for another blood test to confirm that the miscarriage had completed.  I did, and it had.  I became very depressed during what should have been such a happy time in my life.  My husband tried his best to console me, but I was still just…brokenhearted.  I became pregnant again about a month and a half later with our sweet and vibrant fourth child.  She lifted my spirits immensely.  The hurt was still there however, and when my daughter was one I began having panic attacks.  I only had a few episodes, but one night I ended up in the emergency room.  That was my breaking point.  I knew something had to be done, and I knew who I needed to turn to.

Jesus.  My sweet Jesus.  I cried out to Him, and God forgave me.  He comforted me.  He again made me whole.  Forgiveness is worthless if you do not purpose to turn from your sin.  So I did.  We plan on welcoming additional babies with open arms, without attempting to control the Creator.

I’ve compiled a small resource of information concerning birth control here, if you feel compelled to take a look.

Be blessed!

~Nicole

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Also, do you have an amazing birth, pregnancy, or adoption story to share?  A story where the hand of God was mightily on you and your baby?  I am looking to begin featuring these types of stories on this website on a regular basis!  If you have a story, please email me at childrenareablessing1@gmail.com.

Written by Nicole

NICOLE CRONE enjoys writing encouragement for moms in which God is glorified at her blog, Children are a Blessing. She is wife to Rusty, and mom to eight sweet children. Nicole has been a homeschool mom for thirteen years, and is currently a member of The Old Schoolhouse Review Crew. When Nicole isn’t homeschooling, you can find her writing, reading, sewing, or blogging at www.childrenareablessing.org. She is active on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

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About Nicole

NICOLE CRONE enjoys writing encouragement for moms in which God is glorified at her blog, Children are a Blessing. She is wife to Rusty, and mom to eight sweet children. Nicole has been a homeschool mom for thirteen years, and is currently a member of The Old Schoolhouse Review Crew. When Nicole isn’t homeschooling, you can find her writing, reading, sewing, or blogging at www.childrenareablessing.org. She is active on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

36 Thoughts on “The Birth Control Pill Caused My Miscarriage

  1. I’m truly sorry to hear of your loss. I lost a baby too via miscarriage, and it was truly one of the most difficult experiences of my life.

    Thank you for sharing your story and for talking about the connection between the pill and miscarriages.

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. We have had a few miscarriages and, years later, my heart still aches for my babies that are in heaven. Thank you for sharing your story.

    My website is a devotional for wives and I’m actually prayerfully putting together an article on the dangers of the birth control pill. I might link this page to that post if that is okay with you?

    Darby

    • Nicole on June 19, 2013 at 3:13 am said:

      I’m so sorry for your losses too Darby. And yes, I would love for you to link to this article. 🙂

  3. Rebecca on June 19, 2013 at 9:50 am said:

    I’ve sat here for several minutes unsure exactly what I should write. I know even though we share a common bond of having lost a baby that each person and each experience is truly different and there really is no way to honestly say, “I know how you feel.” My 5th pregnancy, the day of our 20 week ultrasound, ended with the words “There is no evidence of fetal heartbeat.” Even though I describe our loss as a stillbirth we are technically in the miscarriage bracket. Because of this I had to ASK to deliver my baby rather than have a D&E, I had to ASK to have my baby’s “remains”. I’m certainly not judging anyone that may have made another decision, I realized everyone makes the decision that feels right for them but I am still frustrated by the fact that the tiny, PERFECTLY formed little girl I delivered was not seen as a baby that was loved and wanted. And even now, nearly 10 months later (and 2 weeks short of meeting her little brother!) people seemed surprised that I still hurt, deeply. I think all these stories are important, no matter how the loss came about, no matter how many weeks it occurred at, people need to know we love our children and miss them when they’re gone. Also, just an FYI if you’re interested….I started an organization that can be found at facebook.com/babyangelblankets that makes blankets for moms of angels free of charge, if you’d like a tiny blanket in memory of your little one, let me know!!

    • Nicole on June 19, 2013 at 11:49 am said:

      Bless you Rebecca. I couldn’t even imagine. Thank you for sharing this information. Your organization sounds wonderful!

  4. I went through the same thing with my first pregnancy. Sadly, I think so many women are not told about the pill and it’s affects. Prayers for your healing!

  5. My heart breaks for you & your loss. I had no idea the birth control I was on several years ago could affect my fertility permanently – after I found out (when it took us quite a bit of time to get pregnant again) I really did some research and a lot of praying. I’m really glad to have found your blog through the Hop – so very encouraging! <3

  6. First of all, Nicole, I’m so sorry for your loss. Secondly, I did not know the pill could do that and I’m so glad you’re getting the word out! But thirdly, I don’t know that I understand why you feel this was “selfish” on your part. I’m glad that you found comfort from God–He’s so very loving and merciful. But I just don’t see this as something you could’ve known or controlled. My prayers are with you, sweet friend!

    • Nicole on June 23, 2013 at 10:25 pm said:

      Thank you for your kind words Beth! By “selfish,” I meant that I was attempting to plan my family instead of consulting and trusting God. I was thinking of spacing children for my desire regardless of what might of been God’s plan.

  7. Wow, I have to admit that your post really surprised me! I had no idea the pill could cause them. I’ve known several people who actually got pregnant while on the pill so I guess those babies really truly ARE a miracle!

    I am sorry for your loss. I don’t think you ever forget when you’ve lost a child through miscarriage. I know that we still talk about ours on occasion, such as how old she’d be and stuff like that, lol! Thanks for linking up to the “Making Your Home Sing Monday” linky party today! 🙂

  8. Sorry for your loss. You are so strong for sharing, yet so caring to know that by sharing you could help someone else. Stopping by from Teach Me Tuesdays.

  9. Nicole, I’m so sorry you had to face that. Thankfully our God is merciful and gracious to forgive us. Thank you for sharing your story and for linking up with us. I’ll be sharing your post tomorrow or Friday. 🙂

  10. Cheyenne Marie on June 27, 2013 at 1:25 pm said:

    I just lost a baby to miscarriage from the pill as well. I just had a baby girl in January and I thought that it would be a good idea to space the kids out by using it. In April the day before my birthday I miscarried. I didn’t know I was pregnant. I was so sad though. My husband and I want a big family and I feel like I should have known about the consequences of the pill. We have decided to do the natural family planning route and I feel like that’s best. It’s hard to learn at first, but it’s worth it to me.

  11. Wow, thanks for sharing. I know this isn’t a popular message, but I’m glad you are willing to share your heart and hopefully help other women who may be struggling with this issue. We often don’t realize the full consequences of our choices until we are brought face to face with them by the grace of God. Praise the Lord he did a work in your heart and brought you to a place of healing and rest!

    I’d love to get to know you better! Thanks for linking up at Babies and Beyond. Your blog is beautiful! I’m following via Bloglovin!

  12. Congratulations! Your post was featured at the Mommy Monday link party. Please stop by to grab your “I’ve been featured” button and link up again! http://bestlifemistake.blogspot.com/2013/06/mommy-monday-week-12.html

    Thanks,
    Amy @ Some of the Best Things in Life Are Mistakes

  13. Right before I got married 6 years ago, I read some things about the Pill possibly being abortifacient. I had only taken a couple and decided not continue. My OB/GYN thought I was kinda crazy. He’s a Christian and told me that if you do ovulate while on the pill, you would likely get pregnant and that the Pill does NOT cause abortions. (I find it interesting that your doctor told you the opposite. I guess the only way to decide is to do your own research and pray as a couple about it.) I decided to use a diaphragm anyway and got pregnant 2 weeks after my wedding. After my beautiful daughter was born I used Depo-Provera, because I researched it and there is not supposed to be any chance of it being abortifacient. After having my second child and using Depo again, I seemed to be having more side affects like moodiness and low libido, so I’m currently staying away from all hormonal bc. I have read research that suggests that when breakthrough ovulation occurs on the pill, that the resulting surge of hormones would over ride the pill, causing the uterus to become primed for implantation. but conclusive research has not yet been done that I know of.

    • Nicole on August 20, 2013 at 2:10 pm said:

      I was told that the pill makes the uterine lining very thin, and therefore the baby cannot attach well and dies. Thank you for sharing!

  14. Cassandra P on September 4, 2013 at 4:19 pm said:

    I miscarried a few days ago, I was 8 weeks along. First pregnancy. I’m sorry to read about your loss. I feel so traumatized by my loss, I don’t know who to talk to or how to release it, but it’s comforting to hear others’ stories. Thanks for sharing.

  15. Hello,
    After 2years from my birth, my mother was pregnant with her second child. She was not on any medications nor she had any disease. But in her 6months she miscarriage her child.
    It was a boy they said. My could be brother.
    My mother told me this thing recently and I know how she and all of you feel.
    I am sorry for everyone who has lost their child.
    God bless everyone.

    • Julie S. on March 9, 2014 at 11:26 pm said:

      So sorry for the losses , I’m sure you all have the strenght to overcome.
      Birth Control Methods are affected by a number of factors that you should discuss with your OB-GYN.
      Also, attemping to have another child before the recommed time (2 years -including misscarrieges) is a major cause of misscarriges, specially amongst those who use “natural” methods, please ask your doctor about this issues. 🙂

      • Nicole on March 10, 2014 at 10:13 am said:

        Thanks for commenting Julie! My OB/Gyn has advised me that after a miscarriage only a month or two wait is necessary. I actually conceived my 4th daughter one month after this miscarriage. If I would have waited 2 years I would have missed on such a great blessing! 🙂

  16. Brian on March 9, 2014 at 4:34 pm said:

    I’m sorry for your lost me and my girlfriend lost ours today she was 11 weeks she was on birth control. :\

  17. Manu on May 13, 2014 at 1:48 pm said:

    Hi friends i am too on the same line. I used birth control pills just for 3 months. And the followed month i have no period confirming me pregnant. But i had missed miscarriage in 8th week of pregnancy. This is my true experience with birth control pills. The ovum that was fertilised was not good, having some abnormalities leading to miscarriage.

  18. Kerry K. on July 28, 2014 at 11:37 am said:

    I was on the birth control pill for 6 years after having a normal healthy pregnancy in May 2009. I found out in June 2014 through a home test that I was pregnant. Two days after finding out, I started to bleed. Went to the OB and after a internal she said to take it easy and lifting anything. My levels weren’t as high as they should be, a week later I went to the hospital due to heavy bleeding, and after another ultrasound they told me I miscarried at 6 weeks. 🙁 this is the hardest thing I’ve been though. Lloking forward to trying again but extremely nervous.

  19. Nicole, I didn’t know anyone felt the same way I did about b/c! I have 2 friends that struggled through multiple miscarriages after having been on b/c for several years. I totally agree with you and refuse to ever be on any b/c… not a popular choice in this society. I get many dirty looks for this decision and raised eyebrows from my dr.’s. God knows how many kids we can handle… He makes blessings not mistakes. Why risk messing with his perfect plan? i was married in 2012 and told God i’d love a baby but i wanted to just be married and enjoy one full year together before getting pregnant. We didnt use any b/c or any methods to prevent and sure enough, a month after our one year anniversary i was pregnant! thank you for your boldness to post about this topic.

  20. Elisabeth on March 31, 2015 at 9:57 pm said:

    I just came across your post. I’m going through this right now. I was 5 1/2 weeks pregnant and found out my hCG was dropping. I’m expecting the miscarriage and the thought just makes me so horrified and anxious. I was on the pill for 7 years and recently got off of it because I felt God telling me to trust him. I got pregnant right away and was over joyed. Now I feel like my body has betrayed me. I truly never thought this would happen but I’m convinced it’s because of the birth control. I tried to control my body instead of submitting to the Lord. Thank you for your post.

  21. Alexis on April 23, 2015 at 5:41 pm said:

    Please pray for me. I’m not sure what to think. I was on birth control for many years as I had very painful periods.. probably on it for between 7 and 10 years. I came off it and a month later conceived.. had a vanishing twin at 5 weeks and lost my dear son at 24 weeks. Tried again two months after he died and became pregnant again with twins and am 16 weeks along, but just two days ago found out one passed away at 13 weeks. I don’t understand what is happening and neither do multiple ob’s though we’ve had in depth workups.. I am so scared to lose Twin B but dont know what to think. Please pray for us.. I would give anything to have my children back.

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