First of all, the title of this post is kind of deceptive! Mothering is never easy, but sometimes as new moms, mothering just seems too hard! The transition can be tough when adding a child to a childless home, or for some of us, adding a new child almost every year or two. I’ve walked through that season, and I pray that you will be encouraged today by hope that only the Lord can give.
When I was younger, I made some bad choices. Looking back, I’m amazed at how the Lord has worked in my life. He truly turned many of the bad things in my life into good. As a teenager, I was a Christian, but was also terrible confused. Close to the time I entered high school, my parents decided to stop attending the church that I loved, and instead joined a church which was pretty much about our experience with God. Besides going to our church, I was also taken to church meetings in back alley locations where folks would be “in the spirit” for hours on end. Before being allowed to spend time with friends, I was made to watch hour long charismatic sermons that my mother had taped. While we were involved in many spiritual activities, at the same time my parent’s relationship was very volatile. They would regularly get in screaming matches which usually ended in me standing up to my father as a 15-year-old and being cussed at or pushed down as my mother and younger brother would be huddled in a corner crying. When I was 16-years-old my parents divorced. During the divorce my father showed up with divorce papers from both of their previous marriages, (which I was never aware of), refused to pay for our utilities and we were left in the dark, and my mother stayed in her bed 24-7 for months on end.
While none of the above was reason for me to fall into sin, needless to say, I was ready to get out of that house! When I was 18-years-old I became pregnant by my boyfriend for most of the past 5 years. We soon married, and within 3 years I was expecting our third child. But there was one little problem. I grew up once we had children, and he didn’t. He still wanted to spend much of his time with friends, and while I was pregnant with our third child I asked him to leave because he would disappear every weekend and would not tell me his whereabouts. A few weeks later he passed away, due in part to his reckless lifestyle and an undiagnosed heart condition.
I was alone with a three-year-old, a one-year-old, was 7 months pregnant. Needless to say, I was a bit scared! Looking back, I know that the Lord was there all along, carrying me when I couldn’t walk. Once my son was born, I would sleep on the couch and he in his bassinet in the living room since my three-year-old had taken over my bedroom and I didn’t want to wake her up during the night, ha! I would be so exhausted, but would just stay up watching television while crying. At that time, I felt like this particular season of life would never end.
But mommas, it did. That little baby is almost 11, and my girls are 14 and almost 13!
My family and I on Mother’s Day a few weeks ago.
Looking back now, time seems to have passed so quickly! And I missed so much of it since I allowed myself to feel numb during so many very important months in my little one’s lives! I would save the tears for they were sleeping, but sometimes during the day I felt like I was in a haze. But they were also my saving grace. Those sweet babies gave me so much love, hugs, and smiles in a trying time. They were my angels. Mommas, please take heart and fully take in your children each and every day! I promise that you won’t regret it.
If you are in a haze, or this season of life is “never-ending,” what can give you hope?
Jesus. Nothing but Jesus. He is there for you always. As hard as it is to swallow, God will not tempt us over what we can bear. Sometimes we will be tempted to loose our temper, wallow in self-pity, or lock ourselves alone in our room. Instead let’s turn to God.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. -1 Corinthians 10:13
Does this mean that we will always make perfect choices? No. But it does mean that we need to strive to cry out to Jesus during the hard times instead of falling into sin.
What are ways that I can love on and enjoy my little ones through difficult times?
- Smile. As hard as it can be sometimes, we need to smile at our little ones. Let them know how much you love them. If we are upset, they often do not understand why. We don’t want them to blame themselves for our problems.
- Plan fun activities throughout the day. Sometimes when we are moms of littles, it is easy to plop in front of the television for most of the day. We get in a rut, and the days seem endless. If you can, plan times to read to your children, play outside with sidewalk chalk and balls, take a walk, or make an art project. When we do this, our days go by much faster and the relationship we have with our children is enriched.
- Drink in your babies. They will not stay little forever, I promise! When we really appreciate our children, our jobs as mothers will seem not near as mundane. Recognize your work today as pouring yourself into eternal souls!
- Realize that God is shaping you into who He wants you to be during the hard times. Although I realize that even the “hard” things in my life are not near the issues that others have gone through, at the time, they seemed difficult. Looking back now, I am so thankful for the hardships. As strange as this sounds, I know that God was molding me during these times. I learned that I would never lie to my children, that I would always work on having a marriage with good communication skills, and that if I and my husband were in a disagreement I wouldn’t act poorly in front of my children. I also learned the importance of a strong family unit and how my faith should be rooted in what I could do for God instead of what He could do for me once He so graciously saved me.
- Make time for the Lord. Pray continuously. Read Bible stories to your little ones. Leave your Bible open on the counter and read it here and there if you have a moment. Listen to music about our Lord together. (I love the Scripture Lullabies CD.)
- Remember that it is only for a season. It is momma, I promise. Things will get easier, and one day you will look back and wish you had the time with your little ones back!
Possibly linking to:
Growing Home, Tending the Home Tuesdays, Raising Homemakers, Babies and Beyond, What Joy Is Mine, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home ,Walking Redeemed, A Proverbs 31 Wife, The Modest Mom, A Mama’s Story, Mom’s the Word , Mommy Moments, Hearts For Home, Time Warp Wife, Graced Simplicity, Christian Mommy Blogger, Faith Filled Fridays, Marriage, Motherhood, and Missions, Wholehearted Home, Serving Joyfully,
Also, this week everything in my etsy shop, Joyfully Made is 30% off with the coupon code MEMDAY30. I’ve got clearance applique shirts and tutus, a bit of wall art, and fun printables (including new handwriting ones) available. If you order, please remember to use the coupon code during checkout.