Stop Walking in the Curse!

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For a little while now, I’ve been studying marriage, and how I can become a better wife to my husband.  Yes, I’ve been married to my amazing husband for over twelve years now.  And yes, this is obviously my second marriage.  (I was a widow for a short time.) You would think I’d be a pro by now.

But unfortunately, I most am definitely not!  My husband Rusty is pretty much the greatest.  Yes, he has his flaws, but don’t we all?  Anyhow, we have grown to learn each others strengths and weaknesses over the years, and overall, I feel like we have a strong marriage.

But…I like to feel like I have control over every situation in our lives.  I like to “wear the pants.”  I’ve really been convicted of this recently, and I think I know why.

In the garden of Eden, part of the curse that was befallen to women was that we would want to control our husbands, but they would rule over us.  This controlling need that I feel is a curse!

In our culture, this curse is celebrated.  We ladies are told that we are to be strong, to be assertive.  To be controlling.

But as a new creation in Christ, I don’t want to walk in this any longer.  I want to joyfully submit to my husband, as the church is told to submit to Christ.  This teaching is counterintuitive, and it feels wrong to those of us who have become desensitized to our culture.  Just as Satan deceived Eve, I fear that he is doing the same exact thing now by deceiving ladies.  He tells us that our controlling tendencies are a good thing.  This is simply awful!  The deceiver is pulling ladies away from their Biblical roles, and to a place where they pit themselves against their husbands.  Marriages are being destroyed, and families are being torn apart.

One of the best gifts we could ever give to our children is two married parents who love and care for one another.  Children whose parents are married are much more likely to succeed in life.  They need this stability.

Learning about this teaching has been hard for me.  At first I wondered why something that came so natural to me (control) could be wrong.  The fact of the matter is, many times my fleshy impulses are wrong.  Once I realized this, I began to make a change. It might sound crazy, but I’ve found that such a calming peace is available to me if I step into my Biblical role as a wife.

I’ve been testing this out the last few weeks.  I’ve determined to not be controlling when it came to my husband, and our household has run much more smoothly.  If we have differing opinions, I let.it.go.  I’ve stopped trying to be his Holy Spirit.  Have I had to bite my tongue at times?  That’s a big yes!  But I pray that with God’s help becoming a supportive and submissive wife will become easier for me.

Written by Nicole

NICOLE CRONE enjoys writing encouragement for moms in which God is glorified at her blog, Children are a Blessing. She is wife to Rusty, and mom to eight sweet children. Nicole has been a homeschool mom for thirteen years, and is currently a member of The Old Schoolhouse Review Crew. When Nicole isn’t homeschooling, you can find her writing, reading, sewing, or blogging at www.childrenareablessing.org. She is active on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

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About Nicole

NICOLE CRONE enjoys writing encouragement for moms in which God is glorified at her blog, Children are a Blessing. She is wife to Rusty, and mom to eight sweet children. Nicole has been a homeschool mom for thirteen years, and is currently a member of The Old Schoolhouse Review Crew. When Nicole isn’t homeschooling, you can find her writing, reading, sewing, or blogging at www.childrenareablessing.org. She is active on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

5 Thoughts on “Stop Walking in the Curse!

  1. I appreciate the timeliness of two of your most recent articles (this and the one about women teaching doctrine). It takes guts to say such things in today’s feminist Christian world. Your doctrine article prompted a great deal of thinking on my part. And for the most part, it was truly a relief to me. I have NEVER cared for women’s ministry, at least the way it is typically done. It never dawned on me that such a thing as women teaching Biblical doctrine could be the underlying reason for my disdain. (Sometimes I have a hard time putting my finger on why something is wrong, but I know that it is wrong.) Anyway, thank you.

    • Thank you for the encouragement! I’ve really been burdened about this topic the last month or so. It definitely doesn’t tickle ears, but is something I think we should consider.

  2. Nicole,

    Thank you for saying THIS: “Just as Satan deceived Eve, I fear that he is doing the same exact thing now by deceiving ladies. He tells us that our controlling tendencies are a good thing. This is simply awful! The deceiver is pulling ladies away from their Biblical roles, and to a place where they pit themselves against their husbands. Marriages are being destroyed, and families are being torn apart.”

    I’ve said those words repeatedly to anyone who will listen. Satan is deceiving women and it’s to our own detriment. Women will not like the results of this unruly controlling behavior. Marriages are being destroyed and homes are being torn apart.

    God help us…

  3. Katy on July 3, 2017 at 6:47 am said:

    Being a submissive wife is biblical and super important!! I highly recommend “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace. It is a wonderful book that tells us how to be loving, Godly, submissive wives! The book “Homemaking” by JR Miller is great as well….it is an older book but definitely worth the read!!! 🙂 Have you ever checked out Lori Alexander’s blog? I think you would enjoy it as well! It is called “The Transformed Wife”. Have a lovely week!

    • Thank you Katy, you too! I own the book “The Excellent Wife,” but have not read it yet. I plan to very soon. Thank you so much for stopping by!

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